


Rubik's Cube

by snusnumaru



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Biology, Antennae touching, Fluff, M/M, Very Cheesy, getting high (sort of), wholesome bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snusnumaru/pseuds/snusnumaru
Summary: With the unlikely help of an inanimate object, the Almighty Tallest realize that being in love isn't an exclusively human trait. Oneshot.





	Rubik's Cube

It was another boring, uneventful day on The Massive. Tallest Red lay on the couch in the common room, shirking his duties as per usual. He fidgeted with some earth puzzle Zim had sent him via the teleporter, trying (and failing) to solve it. The inferior, tiny Irken invader had merely called the object a "Rubik's cube", of which the goal was to fill each side of the cube with different colours. Very strange, indeed. The Irken ruler fumbled with the toy, struggling to get even just one side covered with the same colour. He grumbled impatiently. "Hrghh, STUPID, primitive earth puzzle..."

Tallest Purple passed by the sofa, curious as to what his partner in crime was up to. He reached over the backside of the tattered piece of furniture, Red remaining unaware of the other Irken's presence. In an instant, Purple snatched the Rubik's cube out of Red's clutches, disrupting his co-leader's focus. "Wha- Hey!" Ignoring the cry of protest, Purple deftly twisted the sides of the Rubik's cube, eyes trained on the object. Red stared in confusion. Within seconds, his friend had completed the red side of the puzzle.

"How did you...?" Red stammered. Purple absentmindedly tossed the Rubik's cube back into Red's lap, turning to hover away. "The square in the middle of each side can't be moved, so you have to fill up each side with the colour that's in the middle. Get it?" Red blinked, struggling to process his co-leader's instructions. Purple sighed, hovering back towards the couch. He leaned over the edge of the sofa, pointing towards the single completed side of the Rubik's cube. "The middle square of this side is red, which means this entire side has to be red, Red." He gestured to another side of the cube. "And the middle square on THIS side is green, so you have to match all the green parts onto this side."

Red frowned, apparently dissatistfied with the explanation. "Okay... but HOW do you get them all on one side? Is there a trick to it or something?" Purple took the cube from Red's hands once more, much to his partner's annoyance. He rapidly turned the sides. "Well, YEAH... It's like a pattern... Y'know? Like MATH? Remember math, from the Academy?" Now the red side AND the green side were complete. Red huffed in frustration, grabbing the toy from Purple. "Yeah, I GET that, but what's the actual twisty-sequence-thingy?" Purple groaned in exasperation. "It's called an ALGORITHM, Red. I dunno if I can explain it though, 'cause it's kinda... well, complicated." Red knit his brow in irritation, rising from his spot on the sofa. "Well, can you SHOW me then?" he barked.

Purple crossed his arms in surprise, glaring at his co-leader. "Not if you're going to talk to me with THAT tone of voice." the Irken spat, thoroughly unimpressed. Red supressed a growl, then tilted his head forward, sighing defeatedly. His voice dropped to a calmer, more amicable tone. "Can you teach me how to finish a Rubik's cube, Pur?" He gestured to the empty space on the couch. The violet-eyed Irken looked at Red expectantly, almost as if he were trying to pry a certain word out of the Irken. Red's face lit up with realization, and he shifted his gaze away abashedly. "...Please?" Purple's mouth curled into a smirk, giggling at his co-leader's attempts to win him over. He made his way around to the front of the couch and sat down, patting the spot next to him invitingly. "Well, I suppose I'll take pity on you THIS time." Relieved, Red joined his co-leader on the sofa, awaiting further instructions.

"Okay, so, how do you do it?" Red enquired. Tallest Purple took a deep breath, then started on an epic, jargon filled tangent. Apparently HE had been the only one paying attention in Irken math class some decades ago. "So, if you're trying to get just the one side done, you have to-" And within ten seconds of Purple's babbling, the other Irken ruler was completely lost. Becoming increasingly agitated, Red was forced to interrupt Purple's long-winded explanation. "PURPLE, I'm sorry, but I don't understand anything coming out of your mouth right now. Why don't you just... show me." A blank, unreadable expression crossed Purple's face. Red worried that he may have offended his co-ruler again. A moment passed, and thankfully, Purple smiled jovially. "Of course!" He sang. Red breathed a sigh of relief. He offered the Rubik's cube to Purple, expecting him to take it from him again. Instead, Red felt his co-leader's palms cup his own hands. Purple began physically guiding the crimson-eyed Irken through the steps of the algorithm, twisting and turning the cube's sides in sync with Red.

"Silly me! How can I expect you to learn ANYTHING if I'm not holding your hand the entire time? Really, I should've figured." The sarcastic bite in Purple's words nibbled away at Red's composure. He grunted indignantly as a faint blush crept onto his face. Purple took notice, snickering cheekily at his partner's show of awkward frustration. Three sides of the puzzle were now finished, but Red's voracious appetite for snarky comebacks wasn't. He wouldn't let Purple win so easily.

"It's funny you should mention handholding, Purple, because isn't that EXACTLY what you were doing last week? When you were clinging to my arm after a spiggity sprat snuck into our room?" It was Purple's turn to be humbled, his cheeks heating up with embarrassment. He tightened his grip on Red, twisting the Rubik's cube's sides even faster. "IT WAS A REALLY BIG SPIGGITY SPRAT, RED!" the Irken blurted, struggling to come up with a relevant retort. "And, well, sometimes you don't even HAVE an excuse to touch me! You just... do it! To annoy me! Like when you tickle me, or poke at my antennae! What's up with that, Red? Huh? HUH?" Red guffawed stupidly, enjoying the rise he was getting out of his flustered co-leader. Four sides down, two to go. "Oh, I'm confused, Purple? When I make contact with you, is your giggling and purring meant to indicate pain and suffering? So sorry, I'll make CERTAIN it won't happen again." Purple's visage darkened a few shades. Red grinned evilly, dying to hear what nonsense would spill out of his partner's mouth next.

"I highly doubt you could ever possess the self-control necessary to stop teasing me, RED, even if I asked nicely! Not that I'd ever want you to, 'cause I LOVE it!" Red froze, not expecting that final admission. There was that foreign, confusing word. Love. The Irken felt his squeedily spooch curl uncomfortably inside of him. 

One more twist, and the last two sides of the Rubik's cube were finally solved. The Tallest held the toy in their hands, marvelling at the results of their combined fine motor manipulation, algebraic problem solving, and somewhat aggressive banter. The Irken rulers shared an awkward glance, abruptly taken from their emotionally-charged conversation. Purple was the first to look away, quickly removing his hands from his co-leader's. Red returned his focus to the now finished Rubik's cube. He placed it on the table in front of him, contemplating his friend's last statement.

"So... You 'love' it, eh?" He questioned, his voice hitching on the L-word. Purple didn't respond, too mortified to speak. Red inched closer to his co-leader on the sofa, hoping for some form of an answer. "Pur..." the Irken ruler crooned. He cautiously placed his hand atop of Purple's, curious to witness how his touch would affect the other Tallest. Purple gasped softly, but made no effort to pull away. Something about the quality of his voice in that moment caused Red's insides to twist, but he wasn't sure why. "Love is a human thing, but I'm not a human!" Purple cried. Red listened intently, wondering where his partner was going with this. "So... why do I feel it? Why do I, an Irken, feel 'love'?" Red saw something he hadn't seen in Purple's eyes since their days as helpless little smeets: fear. But whatever for? They were the Almighty Tallest, for crying out loud. They could do whatever the Irk they wanted. Purple gestured to his chest with his free hand. "It feels dumb... AND stupid... But it's here, in my squeedily spooch." Red saw the perfect opportunity to chime in.

"Hey, me too!" the Irken exclaimed. Purple quirked his antennae in interest, snapping out of his somber mood. He had secretly hoped his adaptable co-ruler would find some way to fix this. Red grabbed his friend's hand and placed it over his own chest, nodding contentedly. Purple felt his co-leader's internal organ beating steadily, even through the thick layers of armour and clothing. He felt a wave of relief wash over him, grateful to know that he apparently wasn't the only Irken "sick" with love. Purple sighed relaxedly, now smiling warmly at Red.

"You're sick too? Hahahaha, great!" He laughed giddily, locking eyes with the Irken he was so desperately sick for. Red's insides churned with something overwhelmingly positive. He held Purple's hands in his own, a lopsided grin plastered on his face. "I'm pretty sure I'm sick for you exclusively, Pur." There was just a hint of suaveness in Red's inflection, working his charm on Purple with great success. The amethyst-eyed Irken felt a surge of happy energy course through his body, delighted at the sensation his friend was causing. "Oh, Red! This is so... fun! I feel like I'm going to throw up, though. Is that normal?" Red chuckled earnestly, amused by his partner's innocence. "I believe the human expression is, 'BUTT-URR-FLYZ', Purple." His incorrect pronunciation of the Earth insect species resulted in even more cackling from the pair.

Their eyes twinkled with a different kind of joy, one totally uninspired by cruelty or conquest. They stayed like that for a few precious moments: hands interlaced, heads thrown back in laughter, shaking and out of breath. Eventually, the Irken rulers settled down from their giggle fit, their breathing returning to it's regular pace. They both slouched against the back of the couch, slowly coming down from their sweet, unusual high.

The Tallest turned their heads towards each other and chuckled, in spite of themselves. Purple finally caught his breath, resuming the conversation. "Hehehe... What even WAS that, Red?" The ruby-eyed Irken looked at his co-leader lazily, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "PFFT, I dunno... Love, I guess?" That word again. A rosy blush tinged Purple's cheeks, and he couldn't help but timidly avert Red's gaze. "Something like that..." He murmured.

A comfortable silence hung between the two, but Red was anxious to establish where they both stood on the matter at hand. "I'm okay with it if you are... Love, I mean." Oh, that word. How it made Purple's squeedily spooch flutter. What a thrill this was. "Yeah, obviously!" He shouted. Red beamed, thrilled at his friend's response. He triumphantly rose from the sofa, posing as though he were commanding a battalion of Elite Irken soldiers. "Okay then! So, we ARE in love with each other... Great! FANTASTIC!" Purple stifled a giggle, charmed by his partner's enthusiasm. Tallest Red pulled his co-leader to a stand, gripping Purple's hands tightly. The two found each other's eyes once again, relishing in their newly realized connection. This time, Purple mustered up the courage to keep his gaze on Red.

Acting on instinct, Red bowed his head forwards, angling his antennae towards his co-leader's. Purple somehow knew to do the same, meeting Red halfway across. Eyes closed, foreheads touching, hands intertwined, the two Irkens felt a pleasant shiver reverberate through their spines as the sensitive nerve endings of their antennae brushed together. It was as though an electric shock was travelling through their neural pathways, accessing and intensifying fragments of happy memories from their temporarily combined consciousness. The current pulsed onwards, conjoining those delicate pieces of themselves into a single, ethereal entity. Wave after wave, the Tallest drifted as one. Enveloped in serendipitous bliss, Red and Purple hummed in unison, lost in each other's warm, comforting aura. The intimate gesture was completely unexpected, and hopelessly weird... but Irk, did it ever feel good.

"Hmm... Red..." Purple sighed dreamily. Red nuzzled his co-ruler affectionately in response, earning a cute chirp from the Irken. Red wondered what other kinds of adorable sounds he could coax from his partner, until Purple broke the silence. "This is nice and all... But I'm really hungry. Do you wanna get snacks?" Typical Purple, spoiling a poignant moment. The pair's antennae sprung back to their normal posture, much to Red's reluctance. Goodbye, ecstasy. However, he couldn't deny the hungry rumble in his squeedily spooch for much longer. "Sure... I could go for some taquitos, actually."

The Almighty Tallest hovered away together, hand in hand, in search of their highly coveted snacks. Their voices echoed through the enormous corridors of The Massive, chatting and bickering about the same inane topics that always managed to surface between them. Their lack of concern for their work remained, but that apathy at least no longer extended towards each other. Back in the common room, the Rubik's cube lay forgotten on the table, having served it's unexpected purpose. Thanks to it, Red and Purple's shared existence was sure to give way to many more tender, love-inspired happenings.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Because I'm never satisified and can't leave this damned fic ALONE, I added a bunch of antennae touching stuff near the end. It's not a sex thing, but rather a "tripping on MDMA" thing. Just FYI.


End file.
